One thing is certain, being a human or pet parent is a serious commitment. There isn’t a parenting handbook, for humans or pets, that fits each individual’s parenting questions, needs or style. Parenting is essential to the natural order of things in order to progress as a society.
Human beings have a instinctive need to nurture. To love and be loved. We desire companionship. No one truly wants to go through life alone – its not healthy. The good news is, I have found both children and dogs can help meet those needs in different ways.
I’m a parent, or mom, OF two human babies and a mom TO two fur-babies. My husband Matt and I affectionately named each one of our “babies”. Our biological babies are Keatyn and Charlie; our furbabies are Piper and Ginger. Yup. Lucky Matt. A house FULL of estrogen.
Our love for each of our four “babies” is unconditional, but appropriately different. I want to be unquestionably clear on this point: I said “appropriately different”, meaning I fully understand the difference between my human babies and my “furbabies”.
Life as a Pet Parent
Obviously, there are fundamental differences. One. I did not give birth my “furbabies” like I birthed my natural children. Thank God. I adopted them as puppies. A much more relaxing, pain-free process.
Two. As parents, we desire to help our dogs GROW and help our children DEVELOP with growth. Dogs mentally grow to a point with our help. Now, whether you reach that point or not with your “furkids” is between y’all- shout out to all the “special” pups (*ahem, mine). On the other hand, with our help, children complexly develop with growth over a lifetime.
Obviously, these are just a couple ways our natural children differ from our furkids. Simply put, dogs don’t require as in depth parenting as our children by birth. Dogs also never move out, or talk back. My dogs are fiercely loyal and protect my husband, my “other kids” and I. Those things aren’t necessarily true of my human children, but my human children don’t hump random people’s legs or poop on the floor, at least not when I’m around.
This is beauty of being a “parent” to both “types” of children IS because they are SO different. To me its like the yin-yang concept. Both “types” have their advantages and disadvantages; yet, in both cases, the positives outweigh the negatives and tend to balance each other out.
As of late, I have read different articles that are “pet-parent” shaming. These articles claim we are becoming a dog-obsessed culture. These articles insist we are being inundated with pet manufacturers’ doctrine to spoil, or overindulge, our pets because “they are people too.”
Well, I say high five to doing what every other successful man made industry is doing: understanding the target market and creating a perceived need or niche that caters to that market. Economics 101- basic supply and demand y’all.
Plus, what’s scarier than a pet-obsessed culture? Answer: A LOT. I mean if loving your pets too much is a crime, arrest me now…as long as my pups can share my jail cell. We wouldn’t have titles of “Emotional Support Dog” or “Therapy Dog” or even a “Rescue Dog” if dogs were to be solely addressed as something we have ownership over.
These same articles are suggesting how offensive it is to call yourself a “furparent” or to insist on referring to your pet as your “furbaby.” They claim by society using these terms when referring to our relationship with our pets, we are “blurring the lines” between our biological children and “furkids”.
Insert pause for LOLing. Keep pausing if you need more LOLs…
These articles’ authors convey genuine concern for our society’s future. Arguing, if we continue down the path of accepting the blasphemous term, “furbaby”, we are on the road to creating mass confusion and anxiety.
Just FYI: we’re already there y’all! Two words, and its NOT pet parents, its: opioid. crisis.
As someone who considers myself a parent to both my kids and my animals, I tried to be objective as I could on this matter. Although, I’m not writing a political speech, I’m writing a blog. Blogs are opinions. So my opinion is: I feel the underlying issue is simple; people care too much about the petty or not important shit and don’t care enough about the shit that is important and worthy of their time and energy.
Dogs do not replace our children. Children do not replace our dogs. Getting a dog doesn’t make you a parent, but it sure can act like a stepping stone into parenthood. You are responsible for a living, breathing creature. And unlike the plant you may or may not of just killed, dogs rely on you to navigate their life. They are expressive, responsive and show feelings; all things plants can’t do. Plus killing your plant isn’t a serious crime, killing your dog or child is.
As much as dogs and human kids differ, they also are very alike. Your offspring and your “woofspring” are financial (Oh hey Piper) and emotional investments. They both can be taught and also teach life lessons. As the “parent” of either, you can be held responsible for their behavior or actions. Parents determine the quality of life for both types of “kids” while they remain under your roof and supervision.
So no, Matt and I didn’t physically create our pets, pet are extensions of us and our family. Pets are part of how people define themselves; you either are a pet person or you’re not. Sometimes I share more intimate moments with my pets because I can’t be that transparent with my children. So who are we to rain on anyone’s “pet parent” parade?
According to Cambridge Dictionary, a parent is a mom or dad of a person OR animal. The Brits get it. Bet the Brits aren’t freaking out if we are a pet obsessed culture.
Would it be that much of a shame if we became a society that learns to take care of selfless beings (dogs) who just need a little help to live? Would it be that devastating if we go over top to deeply love on our pets and naturally gravitate towards treating them as part of our family, possibly even because its the only loving “family” member we have come across? Is forming such a unique and special bond with our pet and calling them our “furbaby” to show our extraordinary affinity for them really offensive at all?
In my mind, not even a little. Bring it on. We can learn a lot from dogs. For example, how to unconditionally love without preconceived notions or judgement formed from outside influences.
In a society known to freely blur the lines in many categories, why focus on defining who or what constitutes being a parent? Why don’t we focus on the fact that dogs can give us a taste of what it means to have biological children. Then, we can possibly go on to be MORE responsible parents or realize biological kids are not for us.
Raising human kids isn’t for everyone or isn’t possible for everyone, so if pets can satisfactorily fill the need to nurture and have the ability to reciprocate love and provide companionship, then lets support these “pet-parents” and not shame them. LOVE is LOVE, right?
There are many “titles” that define my role in society and if I embrace being a pet parent in addition to being a parent to little humans, I don’t think that means I’m delusional; rather, it means I find joy in fiercely loving anything under my supervision. I think people who “pet-parent” shame probably should avoid pets all together and their parenting techniques might fall under “tiger mom” category (wink wink). Call me a bitch, but female dogs are people too, right?
Are you a pet parent? Do you call your pets your kids? Let me know in a comment below!
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Are you a pet parent? Let me know in a comment below!